How to respond to xenophobic attacks on your kin

I can imagine your reaction when you hear that those pigs have attacked your brother in Southy, that they have killed scores, looted several shops and injured many others. The bloody idiots are claiming that Nigerians have taken over all the lucrative businesses in their country and left them with nothing. Can you imagine the idiocy? No, you can't.

You will convulse with anger as you watch some of those horrific videos on Instablog9ja, your body twisting and contorting with volcanic rage when you see the video of that chubby South African woman moving carelessly over the charred body of a lifeless man, hands filled with the spoils of her loots as the neon signboard above the quaint little store flickers on and off, it reads: Chukwuemeka and Sons convenience store, the e in the store does not come on at all.

That night, a notification will pop up on your phone, one of your favourite Twitter personalities has recently tweeted but you are not in the mood, xenophobia is weighing deeply on your mind. By a strange twist of fate you read; personality A writes, "Boycott this, boycott everything, shut down their operations; Southy must hear am." At the corner of your bed, you'll smile, happy, joyful that someone finally has sense. Shut down their operation will ring in your mind through out that night.

Emboldened by the tweet from personality A,  you'll scour the TL, searching, half-praying to find others who believe in the boycott message and almost like the big man up there was listening, you'll find them, one tweeter will say: "hw cud they do dix, dia bizness mxst sufa," and you couldn't agree more. Another person will suggest a protest at the Shoprite in Sangotedo, everyone cheers, it's a good idea.

You sleep a little comfortable that night.

The next morning, to kill time before the planned rendezvous at Shoprite Sangotedo, you read a little on Nigerian-South African history, learn about all Nigeria did for them during the apartheid, how much we did for Mandela; how we boycotted an Olympics for their ungrateful asses and they choose to pay us back with THIS. Almost like an afterthought, you will look at your GoTV decoder, think wistfully about all the matches you'll miss if it goes, then you'll take it out into the yard and perform the short unceremonious action of smashing it. They. Will. Pay.

At 5 pm,  you'll be at Shoprite Sangotedo, you'll be among the most visible leaders of whatever it is you are organizing, I'm not sure what it is; protest, riot, or concert and generally scaring everyone around. You'll sing all the aluta songs you know till someone suggests you show them pepper. You know, break into the store, make them cry.

At 7 pm,  you'll look all around you, chaos has broken out, you'll look to your side and see the bullet-riddled body of a man who can't be older than 23; he's wearing a sales attendant's tag, his name is Femi, a Nigerian, killed in Sangotedo because of a protest against South Africa. Just outside, there are more bodies, limp and unmoving, you aren't sure if they are conscious. With the corner of your eyes, you'll spy some young men plundering the store, grateful for the opportunity to steal as much as they can.

Finally, you'll feel your pocket for your phone, trying to see if you can get a cab to find your way home. That's when you'll remember that you had broken your MTN sim and forgotten to buy the Glo replacement. To Jesus be your glory.

And that was how you avenged your kin who were victims of xenophobic attacks in South Africa.