TOSYN BUCKNOR AND BEING AN UPCOMING VICKY ISLAND BABY BOY

I have gone through so much itineration in my life. So many headspace's and phases, I have lost count now.

I am in one of the more positive ones now; Upcoming Victoria Island Baby Boy phase.

Personally, it is both a boast and a challenge,  I am constantly moving myself forward to achieve more, to lay claim to the kind of life I want for myself and mines. Burna boy will say 'I wan chop life," Wale will say 'upcoming Vicky island baby boy,' to each person his own ideology.

As a consequence of my lifestyle, sorry my declaration (honest mistake), I attended the funeral service of Tosyn Bucknor, and it was a rather humbling experience, to see human life celebrated in that form. It truly was a fitting tribute.

Tosyn Bucknor's funeral united Nigerian entertainment and I do not say this as a cliche. Have you ever seen MI Abaga emotionally distraught in public? Have you seen Mr Capable, Banky W at his stoic, reflective best? Have you seen Toke Makinwa sober? or Reekado Banks perfectly humbled? No, No,  No and No I think on all counts.

The line of connection these seemingly random unbelievable events have is that they happened at Tosyn Bucknor's funeral service in Lekki.

Everybody was touched by her life, the first tears were visible at the very beginning. From the solemn hymn that opened the service, I knew I was in for an emotional rollercoaster. Her husband gave a deeply touching tribute which was just too much for me, I closed my eyes in reflection.

I left soon after, the undercurrent of emotions too much for my belly, I headed back to Obalende.

My colleague needed a smoke, so we went into the park, found a trader of Sepe and cigarettes and to my greatest shock, this young lady requested my funeral programme, she glanced through it and told me the things she also knew about Tosyn Bucknor and explained she wanted to attend and how she admired her.

She spoke with so much vigour and passion. I remembered that Tosyn was called Area Mama. I smiled.

Tosyn lived 37 years, she didn't make it to the mystical 40 mark when life was supposed to start, but oh my she lived, she did more than exist, she touched lives, she made money, helped people,  put new people on and truly did everything she wanted. This woman did not let fear of her place or health status hold her back.

She also had the kindest of hearts, in hindsight it is easy to say that peoples life get a revisionist treatment after they die, their imperfections get swept under the carpet, their lives become shining beacons of all that is great and beautiful about the human condition. Just not Tosyn, she is different.
To hear people speak about her is to hear them describe her with warmth and genuine joy, fairness and respect.
And yes, everything that is right about the human condition.

I caste my mind back to a specific moment inside the church when I was trying to move away from a demonic Air Conditioner, a couple pictures of Tosyn were projected, in one cut, she was with Olamide and in the next she was with regular people, but the smile never wavered, same radiant smile. You get the sense that was her way. Equal treatment of everyone she came in contact with.

As my friend finished his smoke and we made to leave, the cigarette seller said "it is just a pity she didn't have a child" I calmly sat down and explained as best as I could that, her offsprings wasn't the point,  she was a great woman and her children or lack of it wasn't the case. Then I left.

Since that time, several forms of that "she should have had children" view have crept into conversations I have had with people, I just shut up, shake my head and try to finish the conversation as quick as I can because I can't help them if they can't just appreciate her impact for who she was.

Leaving the island and going back to the office that day, I asked myself, what I am?what I wanted to be remembered for and other questions you really don't want to know.

My point is, what are we doing,  how are we applying ourselves, are we living our best lives, are we helping people, are we being good. If the hangman got us, what would be the words on other people's lips about us.  Think about it.

Rest easy, Tosyn Bucknor, a true Renaissance woman.

Thank you for showing this Upcoming Vicky Island Baby boy that life is in its sum and impacts. Thank you for bringing me and my people together for a celebration of your life in that solemn cold auditorium.  Excelsior.


Find this writer occasionally tweeting at @walenchi,  I can also be found at Instagram at the same handle. Forming hard guy.