MEATY RESPECT

A typical Nigerian fantasy

Meat,  oh meat, 

Why hath thy forsaken me? 

Of all things 

You rascally thing.

Greetings world.
You see that plate up there, that's an average Nigerians fantasy.

Today, we discuss the Nigerian (I'm not so sure if this a general African thing) societal belief that the presence of a piece/pieces of meat is reflective of respect. 

Take a look at that last sentence again. If you don't think there's anything wrong with it, please check yourself. The fact that I have to talk about this and the general population can relate to this is already disappointing enough. It is completely ridiculous and absurd that some people think respect is measured by the number of pieces of meat on their plate. For real, what does that even mean?. The sad part is there are so many obvious scenarios of meat being held up as an indicator of respect!!! 

There's obviously the whole 'husband must have two pieces or more of meat because he's the husband'.  Someone please explain what this means. Meat.  MEAT!!!!  Like, if you want to eat meat, eat meat. This life is too short. I understand the whole archaic husband 'providing for the house' thing, but if he wants to eat meat (and gradually grow a big tummy) he should eat! Why have we let it become a thing?! 

There's also the scenario of when an elderly person comes to visit and you don't serve them with at least two pieces of meat. This automatically translates to lack of respect in their vocabularies. Just imagine if it's our 'mother in-law '🙄. I can't even...  

It's just meat oh, meat. I mean, sometimes I buy beef or chicken to cook and I finish eating half of it before the food is ready. 🤥🤥

Some person is now telling me that they cannot eat food without meat because it's an insult. How?? I offered you a meal for crying out loud. Why can't you appreciate that?. What if I didn't plan for you?  What if I don't have money?  Or what if I just don't feel like giving you?  Is it not my meat?

Instead you want to get angry and report to all of the town that I've denied you meat and so I don't have respect for you. I once overhead a random person say:"my mates are married and their wives give them two pieces of meat". So!!!!!!  Andsofokwot!!!!.  Oh my God. 

Before you go around screaming bloody disrespect, have you considered what purpose meat serves in a meal, have you and no it is not to fatten the area around your neck, meat is a rich source of protein and  vitamins that are essential for proper development of a child, but what do you do, no, you hoard the meat/chicken for the "adults" and give the children (the ones that really need it) leavings.

I remember once an aunt of mine who lives abroad complained about how Nigerians feel the need to eat meat with every meal. She said that's why all of us are fat  in Nigeria. 😂😂😂😂

So dear uncle and aunty and mothers and uncle to the  aunty of my husbands mother, please the amount of meat you are served with is not in any way showing of the respect I have for you, the only thing it shows is your Nigerian mandated greed and the fact that you'll never be able to diet to save yourself.

I'm not even sure the point of this post. I just needed to address this issue and urge this generation of youths and teenagers to TRY to discontinue this trend and rise above this gluttony attitude. It is NOT worth it. Last last all of us will be alright 😑😑😑

Signed, 

A concerned citizen.

The writer of this has declined to publicly reveal her identity for fear of public outrage at her gut to shake this table.